The Wine Bums Rating Scale

Famous wine critics generally publish their rating scale, so you can know what they are thinking. So the WineBums are here to help by offering The WineBums Scale of Wine Pleasuring....

Anyway..... on the WineBums scale:

0-3.5/10. Rest assured, this wine is fucking dire. It is undrinkable. You should already have consumed at least one bottle, preferably two, of 'something else' before laying into this abject piss.

4-4.5/10. This wine is basically toilet. So this is a quite shit wine. But if you just want to get fucked, as opposed to drinking something pleasant, this wine will probably do the job. Check the % on the label first.

5/10-6.5/10. This wine is just about acceptable to 'quite good.' At the lower end of the scale, a bottle of Black Tower might even merit a 5/10 on a good day. At the upper end, a poor vintage of Guigal Cotes du Rhone may only get a 6+/10, but a good vintage of Guigal Cotes du Rhone should move up to the next level...which is...

7/10-8.5/10. This wine is going to be at least good to really pretty impressive. A good Bordeaux Cru Bourgeois might be found in this category.

9/10 upwards. This is the absolute fucking dog's cock of supermarket wine, and ranks with classed growth bordeaux from a very good to excellent vintage. Sadly, wines in this category are usually not cheap and frequently cost twenty quid or more. So you can get much more fucked for much less money on other wines.